How to build Trust in Long Distance Relationships?

Insecurity is one of the key feelings of a human being. All of us have something to work upon, something we lack confidence in. The fear of someone we love, might leave is again something that enhances our insecurities.

These insecurities lead to distrust in your partner. However, this multiplies when it comes to the idea of long distance relationships.

Two people, who are already separated by distance, have to make efforts to ensure they make their partner feel secure, and that they can trust them. As they say, “Every relationship is totally dependent on trust.”

Trust being so important, following are the efforts that every person in a long distance relationship should make, in order for their partners to be happy in the relationship.

  • Keep expressing

Obviously, sometimes it gets difficult to express what you actually feel, but it is important for your partner to know the same, because he/she won’t know otherwise. Tell him/her how much you miss him/her.

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  • Keep updating each other.

Try and be in touch as much as possible. Send them quick updates, about what’s happening with you during the day. ‘A selfie a day will keep the distrust away.’

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  • Play fun games that will help your partner open up about feelings that he/she wouldn’t express otherwise.

Games like ‘Truth and Dare’, ‘How well do you know me’, etc. definitely help. Ask questions about times when your partner doubted on you, or your partner felt you’d go away. Analyse their weaknesses and make sure you will help them overcome. Ensure that you become equally sensitive about them, instead of mocking them down.

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  • Widen your groups, introduce your partner with your friends, and help him/her in hanging out with them.

 When your partner is well acquainted with the people you are around every day, the idea of insecurity wouldn’t arise.

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  • Take initiatives yourself

 Every time you talk to someone, or say you go somewhere, keep yourself at your partner’s place, would you like your partner to do and get involved in whatever you are getting involved in? If the answer is yes, go ahead. However, keep your partner updated.  If the answer is no, and you still want to go ahead. Take extra measures and make your partner understand as to why it is important, surely things will work out.

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If you practise all of this, surely things will become better than otherwise, however everyone is a different persons and needs to be taken care of differently. But all of us should always respect our partner’s insecurities, and instead of bashing them, we might fight with them together, obviously until it doesn’t get into your own comfort space or hamper your self- respect and individuality.

How to Avoid the Expectation Traps in the Relationships?

Do you feel your partner is not involved in the relationship as much as you are? You put in more efforts than he/she puts?

Psychologists say, overly emotional people are victims to ‘Expectation Traps’. These people lack confidence, or fear that the relationship would not last long, hence they put in more than needed effort, and when their partner does not equally give back, they fall in the trap.

In today’s generation, we generally skip the ‘Getting to know each other well’ time. Everything is moving with immense pace, and so are our relationships. Hence, our partner doesn’t seem to know our likes/dislikes, which results into expectation traps.

Following are the ways you can either not fall into the trap at all, or come out of it once you are in it.

  • Find your individuality-

Sometimes being over dependent on your partner also leads to the expectation trap. Find for a few things you like doing when you are alone. Take a day off from your relationship; spend time with your family, friends or colleagues. Create a space where you spend time with yourself, maybe you are just overthinking, and you might realise on further contemplation.

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  • Talk to your partner

The best way to feel lighter is to talk to your partner. There is a high possibility that your partner might not realise there is something problematic in the relationship. This can be a difficult conversation but you will be through it, if your partner listens to you, and not just hears. Tell him/her how you feel about putting in more efforts, and how he/she should express more sometimes.

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  • Prepare a list

 Prepare a list of everything that your partner has done till date, remind yourselves of the better times, and then enjoy that state of mind, until it confuses itself by overthinking hence again.

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  • Restrict yourself from fulfilling basic expectations of your partner

 If the above does not work well, try and put in lesser efforts for a day or two, if your partner notices your behavioural change, (there can be a lot of reasons of things going unnoticed, so please be extremely rational here before coming to a conclusion) you must know that your partner cares about you, and things are in control.

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  • Try spending some quality time with your partner

 Plan for a day out, remind yourself how happy you two are, you may also subtly discuss about how you might be expecting a little more than what he/she is doing.

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There is a possibility that the expectations settings were wrongly set or your partner might be giving his/her 100% and that might not be enough. However, you must always remember that regardless of everything, you are one, unique and a priceless individual who is supposed to smile.

 

 

 

Advice to Business Owners or Entrepreneurs for Marital Happiness

With the advancement in every alternate thing that we do, our lives have only become busier and our schedules have very less time for our inner/ personal circles. It gets even worse, when we have a whole business to manage.

All of us are indulged in our work life so much, that we hardly have energy left for spending time with family and friends, and all of this concludes to marital issues/misunderstandings which only make our lives worse.

Following are a few things that every business owner must keep in mind in regards to their marital happiness-

  1. Making time for your spouse– The best time, any business owner can contribute to his/her spouse can be the breakfast/ brunch time. All of us are in the best of our energies, and moods. A good cup of tea only makes the conversation better. However it is important to make time, you may choose a time according to your convenience.

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  1. Planning trips/vacations- Going on trips brings freshness in your relationship; your partner will notice your efforts that you are putting into the relationship. When you explore things with your partner, you get to know each other better, and the marriage is only going to become stronger.

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  1. Discussing the problems that you might face with your business- Making your partner a part of your business directly/indirectly always adds to the personal touch in the business. When you discuss the hurdles coming in your way, he/she might not be able to solve them entirely. However, it is only going to boost your confidence, and that shall also make your partner feel secure. The other way you can do so is, taking your spouse to business parties/functions.

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  1. Surprises/gifts- Surprises and gifts only make your partner realise their importance in your life, the price of the gift doesn’t matter, and even the smallest of the gift will do wonders.Image result for surprise gift gif
  2. Keep you chemistry always sizzling hot- Generally working professions lack to give time to their spouse, even if they do there lacks chemistry, foreplay and orgasms in their relationship. Sex and romance is the most important part of any marriage relationship. Hence, don’t miss out the chemistry!
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 In short, it is very important to balance your work life and your love life. Only then, one of them will uplift the other, when needed. And none of these will let you down. So? Plan a date with your spouse this weekend? The place might not be the most posh one in the entire town. He/she will like the initiative, and that is the most important.

Signs of Emotional Abuse in a Relationship

“With power comes responsibility.”

Unfortunately not everyone seems to understand this. A relationship is more like a companionship that involves physical, mental and emotional intimacy between two people. However, sometimes our emotions overpower the wrong doings of our partner, and we happen to overlook the injustice happening to ourselves.

Abuse is a very strong word, and its practice only makes a person weaker. However, emotional abuse is the most dangerous one. Sometimes we don’t even realise the changes we are going through, while we are in a relationship which might turn out to be very unhealthy for our individual self.

The reasons of emotional abuse can be inferiority, narcissism, ego, etc.

However the signs of emotional abuse are very subtle and we need to ensure that we keeping our individual respect intact, regardless of the intensity with which we love our partner.

Following are a few signs of emotional abuse.

  1. Your partner makes you feel incapable/unworthy/undeserving– He/she brings in the idea of self-doubt in your mind, which makes you feel very low of yourself.

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  2. Your partner always prioritizes what himself/herself– You have a feeling of your partner being selfish.

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  3. Your partner reminds you of his/her ex often- Your partner begins to compare you with his/her past relationships and how they were better than the present.

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  4. Your partner is over possessive- You feel like you have almost given up on your individual space. Your partner has taken control over everything that you do, be it the least important aspect of your life. It is your partner who takes decisions and you don’t have a say.

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  5. Your partner practises narcissist behaviour- The idea of him/her being the best, or never wrong. Your partner dominates you, the reason being his/her superiority in everything.

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Relationships are very beautiful, but so are you. Not only it is difficult to go through emotional abuse, but it also gets difficult to be comfortable in being your own self. You begin to lose confidence in yourself and everything that you do. A vicious loop of things not working out forms, and you blame yourself for everything that happens, but your partner happens to take pride in your failure which only makes you feel worse. It also gets extremely difficult to get out of such relationships, because a person totally loses on his/her self-esteem. But it is very important.

Hence, if you feel your partner is emotionally abusing you, take the step further, and believe that you deserve better!

Make Love, Not Porn

When we discover the word love, it brings pleasure and happiness. Our heart is a big fan of love! The feeling of love releases tons of chemicals in the brain that make you want to keep coming back for more and more. It reveals the inner voice of your soul. When I talk about porn, it also releases those same chemicals, but there is a huge difference between the two. In this blog, I tried to discover the reasons of making love over to porn.

The Love:

Love is a strong feelings and emotions that two people can share with each other. Love can be in different types. It has different meaning to different people and culture and it exists in various stages and on various levels. But one thing alike here is, you know when you feel love! For most of us love is a process. For sometimes this process takes place so quickly, but other times the process of experiencing this feeling of love take along. May be forever!

The ultimate benefits of love, a beautiful process of transforming two people into one soul seems to be endless. It’s a proven fact that individuals in satisfying relationships are happier, having less health issues, and live longer.

On the other side, so many people chasing after what they think love is from what they have seen in the movies, read in books, watched on TV and even viewing of pornography.

Here I would like to mention, I am not saying love cannot be wonderful with anxious kisses, sweaty hands, fireworks, because it surely can be. The point is, the porn should not be telling you how your love feels or what your love looks like. Love is a feeling of falling for someone and I believe it’s only you who should decide that!

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When we see porn, the counterfeit versions of love we trick our brain and we force ourselves to believe that we found something real. So the feeling of sex remains present in our brain only the other person is absent. When that happens our brain begins to build new pathways and feelings, so instead of seeking out relationships with people in the outer world, we go back to the counterfeit stuff that is the porn.

The Porn

We live in the modern world where internet is available at our fingertips at every moment. The pornography is very easy to find these days, there is an endless supply of it; it is easy to access and gives anonymity to users. But do you think it can deliver same warmness and can let you to feel fuzzy afterward? Big NO! Pornography can increase feelings of depression, social anxiety, lower satisfaction in relationships, and so much more. It is a fake relationship what we have created or build up with our computer screen.

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Now, when you have a choice to go out with your love, spend some time and have a warm sex or being alone with a video, think about choosing the real one. Share your feeling about the real meaning of making a love over to porn with us.