How to Avoid the Expectation Traps in the Relationships?

Do you feel your partner is not involved in the relationship as much as you are? You put in more efforts than he/she puts?

Psychologists say, overly emotional people are victims to ‘Expectation Traps’. These people lack confidence, or fear that the relationship would not last long, hence they put in more than needed effort, and when their partner does not equally give back, they fall in the trap.

In today’s generation, we generally skip the ‘Getting to know each other well’ time. Everything is moving with immense pace, and so are our relationships. Hence, our partner doesn’t seem to know our likes/dislikes, which results into expectation traps.

Following are the ways you can either not fall into the trap at all, or come out of it once you are in it.

  • Find your individuality-

Sometimes being over dependent on your partner also leads to the expectation trap. Find for a few things you like doing when you are alone. Take a day off from your relationship; spend time with your family, friends or colleagues. Create a space where you spend time with yourself, maybe you are just overthinking, and you might realise on further contemplation.

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  • Talk to your partner

The best way to feel lighter is to talk to your partner. There is a high possibility that your partner might not realise there is something problematic in the relationship. This can be a difficult conversation but you will be through it, if your partner listens to you, and not just hears. Tell him/her how you feel about putting in more efforts, and how he/she should express more sometimes.

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  • Prepare a list

 Prepare a list of everything that your partner has done till date, remind yourselves of the better times, and then enjoy that state of mind, until it confuses itself by overthinking hence again.

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  • Restrict yourself from fulfilling basic expectations of your partner

 If the above does not work well, try and put in lesser efforts for a day or two, if your partner notices your behavioural change, (there can be a lot of reasons of things going unnoticed, so please be extremely rational here before coming to a conclusion) you must know that your partner cares about you, and things are in control.

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  • Try spending some quality time with your partner

 Plan for a day out, remind yourself how happy you two are, you may also subtly discuss about how you might be expecting a little more than what he/she is doing.

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There is a possibility that the expectations settings were wrongly set or your partner might be giving his/her 100% and that might not be enough. However, you must always remember that regardless of everything, you are one, unique and a priceless individual who is supposed to smile.

 

 

 

Advice to Business Owners or Entrepreneurs for Marital Happiness

With the advancement in every alternate thing that we do, our lives have only become busier and our schedules have very less time for our inner/ personal circles. It gets even worse, when we have a whole business to manage.

All of us are indulged in our work life so much, that we hardly have energy left for spending time with family and friends, and all of this concludes to marital issues/misunderstandings which only make our lives worse.

Following are a few things that every business owner must keep in mind in regards to their marital happiness-

  1. Making time for your spouse– The best time, any business owner can contribute to his/her spouse can be the breakfast/ brunch time. All of us are in the best of our energies, and moods. A good cup of tea only makes the conversation better. However it is important to make time, you may choose a time according to your convenience.

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  1. Planning trips/vacations- Going on trips brings freshness in your relationship; your partner will notice your efforts that you are putting into the relationship. When you explore things with your partner, you get to know each other better, and the marriage is only going to become stronger.

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  1. Discussing the problems that you might face with your business- Making your partner a part of your business directly/indirectly always adds to the personal touch in the business. When you discuss the hurdles coming in your way, he/she might not be able to solve them entirely. However, it is only going to boost your confidence, and that shall also make your partner feel secure. The other way you can do so is, taking your spouse to business parties/functions.

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  1. Surprises/gifts- Surprises and gifts only make your partner realise their importance in your life, the price of the gift doesn’t matter, and even the smallest of the gift will do wonders.Image result for surprise gift gif
  2. Keep you chemistry always sizzling hot- Generally working professions lack to give time to their spouse, even if they do there lacks chemistry, foreplay and orgasms in their relationship. Sex and romance is the most important part of any marriage relationship. Hence, don’t miss out the chemistry!
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 In short, it is very important to balance your work life and your love life. Only then, one of them will uplift the other, when needed. And none of these will let you down. So? Plan a date with your spouse this weekend? The place might not be the most posh one in the entire town. He/she will like the initiative, and that is the most important.